Why Are We Here?

Is this the million dollar question or is it super obvious?

Some of us are constantly asking this of themselves.

Why am I here? Good question.

The answer is waiting for you, anxiously waiting for you. To find it takes little effort. Almost the opposite of effort.

Relax and have any tense areas of your body melt into the ground. Imagine a copy of your heart separating from your real heart and moving out of you, turning to face you. Feel the warmth, the all-encompassing love from it.

Before you send it out on its mission, attach a cable of communication from it to you. It belongs to you. Your cable to it is strong.

Now, wish it to fly away with the wind, out the window, and see where it goes. See your heart where it floats.

As it slows, as it starts to vibrate in space, notice what is all around it. As if you are watching a movie.

Feel the temperature and the surface textures. Hear the sounds and measure the light.

Now, who and/or what is there with you and your heart? What are you doing in that space? Does it feel even more expansive? Your cable becomes a beam of love.

Try this, it could calm you beyond anything you have known.

This is why we are here, to experience love.

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Focusing Thoughts

I had a casual conversation with one of my brothers today that ended up with the idea of focusing thoughts. Yesterday, I had a long-time absent friend talk with me for an hour and the subject cumminated with focusing thoughts. Here are our thoughts.

Thoughts have started the creation of everything. Everything you see and hear started with a thought. Creating in the world, being the master creators that we are meant to be, requires a step two. Step Two: Action.

Creating that which you have thought of requires action. I can accept the theory of thoughts creating reality only if it has a feet-on-the-ground definition for how it works here and now in my daily life; a practical application.

We live here on Earth, although I can’t say we respect it enough. It’s all good to relax, get-in-touch with ourselves, meditate, reach a higher level of awareness, pray, and be holy.

I want a manual. I want the way for me to have my mind with its thoughts flow through my arms and hands and off the tips of my fingers and create my life into that blissful feeling of arrival. Seeing before me the reality of my focused thoughts.

I want to feel fully alive.

When I want to bring something into my life, into my reality, I focus my thoughts. The more often I think of it, the sooner it arrives and the longer it lasts.

When it appears in reality, I embrace it, bring it all-the-way in, full of gratitude for how this process works, full of wonder and awe.

Focused thought + action = my reality. How’s your reality?

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Listen to Your Heart

Oh no; not again, pulled again where I don’t want to go. What did my coach tell me. She’s said it everytime, each time in a different way, I’ve got to get control. I can’t keep getting pulled off track like this. Now, breathe.

I know what I want. This doesn’t feel right. I want to be peaceful. I want to create the life my heart says is good, and pure and clear, and oh so right for me. Listen to your heart, listen to my heart.

I CAN SAY THIS! I will say it nicely . . . keep myself together. No one else lives in this body so I just need to be clear with myself and be kind.

See it clearly in your mind.

Wow, that was easier than I thought it would be. He seemed to appreciate what I said. I did put it out there without blame, shame or forcing anything. What a surprise when he kissed me on the cheek. Guess he really appreciated what I said. Guess I’ll be seeing him again. Wow.


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Not Why? What!

Upset! Who’s upset. Yes, we get upset from time-to-time. Let’s look at a particular frequent scenario.

Scenario:   You are peaceful, relatively peaceful and your friend/significant-other flies off-the-handle in a improvisational tirade. 

My suggestion: Listen to the tone of your own voice.

Any group of helpful or consoling words will (chameleon-like), change meaning with the tone of your voice. We’ve all heard the same sentence have four different meanings with tone-of-voice and phrasing (grouping words).

Try these steps:

1.  Listen to the person’s full problem without interrupting them. If they will not let you get a word in edgewise, ask “Can/May I speak for a bit?” All the while keeping peaceful yourself.

They may go on being upset, without taking a full breath. That’s OK. Let them finish or just wait for that little window to ask again, if you can say something. 

2.  Now, here is my point, at this point use a soft and calm tone-of-voice.

The kind of voice you would use in church or in the bedroom.

You can imagine what I mean.

3.  Almost instantly his/her direction will change from fretting about Why this is happening to working on What to do about it.

You will be the one setting it up to have the outcome you desire. It’s not magic, it’s being more aware of your own power to create your own reality.

The worst problem between me and my husband is the mutual, newly-wedded person’s desire to make sure we are “making each other happy.”

So I was happy to see, as soon as I lived through the above scenario with him, he found a way for my plans for the day to happen with enjoyment.  The song goes, “Love Is A Many Splendored Thing”  . . .  yet, seemingly elusive. 

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Social Distancing

We have a new thing! Social Distancing, isn’t it grand. Sorry to be sarcastic. It’s the pits.

Anthropologist Edward T. Hall , explained about social distance back when being in-person, within breathing space, was not such a big deal. He developed this chart for where to stand to”be in-someone’s space.”

He describes, Public Space as someone being beyond 4ft from you. Social Space being as close as 1.5 feet away up to 4 feet out. Closer than 1.5 feet is being in your Personal Space and closer that that as your Intimate Space.

It makes sense. especially now when your distance away from another person in stores, the post office, the bank is so critical. Dr. Hall developed this chart after making world-wide studies of social behavior.

Yes, you guessed right. Even Dr. Hall admits his research has been extended by technological advances such as the telephone, walkie talkie, and television, among others. Hall’s analysis of social distance came before the development of the internet, which has expanded social distance exponentially. I believe we have gone full circle, no pun intended.

The Coronavirus has brought our attention back to how we act in public. We were so used to shuffling along, squeezing in-between one another to get to the front. Loving the crowd at concerts, political events, our kids school performances. I think I’m gonna cry.

When I went to the grocery store early this morning, when it opened , since that is when the store is the most clean; I saw so many sad or stressed-out faces. We hear and gotta get it through our heads that we are in this together. We must put-on our thinking caps to create what we want for a new social structure. Fear just doesn’t work for me. How about you?

I love people. I’m one of those people who needs people. I’m praying this virus gets under control as soon as possible, saving lives and giving me permission to stand closer and even hug.

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Change MY Name??

I just spoke with a woman who wonders how she will handle her future married status’ name change. Where did this idea come from and why should it be such a big deal?

It began to surface in English common law in the ninth century. That’s when lawmakers began to consider the legalities surrounding personhood, families, and marriage. It is also when women’s selfhood further eroded, as it become Common Law.

Common Law recognizes unions created by mutual agreement and public behavior. There are many Common Laws, mutable by each State of the Union and normally based only in public behavior, while being maintained by elected Judges.

Becoming tradition, this doctrine of coverture https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coverture proclaimed women had no independent legal identity apart from their spouse. It actually began upon the birth of a female baby – who was given her father’s surname – changing only at her marriage, at which point her name was automatically changed to that of her new husband.

So far back in time, the doctrine of coverture merged requiring women thereafter to be considered “one” with their husbands, and to assume the husband’s surname as their own. Women were then prevented from entering into contracts, engaging in litigation, participating in business, or exercising ownership over real estate or personal property.

This caused a feminist uprising occurring in time with the passage of Married Women’s Property Acts in several U.S. states in the mid-1800s. Under these acts, women gained individual legal status for purposes of signing contracts, engaging in business and commerce, and making purchases to acquire property. Since, the woman’s name had its own independent legal significance, the number of women opting to retain their birth name began to rise.

Much, much later, in the 1970’s a Tennessee Judge ordered a woman be free to use her given name to registering to vote. Around the same time, the prefix “Ms.” emerged, allowing women to assert their identity apart from their marital status.

Today, 20% of American women retain their birth name after marriage. A lower percentage than in the 1970s and 1980s. Back then, many women saw keeping their birth name as an equality issue. For today’s brides the choice is more practical, rooted in professional identity.

The future of married surnames remains to be seen, with the advent of gay marriage. While many newlyweds choose to retain their birth name, some couples have opted for the non-traditional route of combining parts of both surnames to create a totally new identity. 

Your identity is more than the names you use when asked, “What’s your name?”

I believe it should not be coded to tell your life story, as in Mrs. or thoroughly modern Ms.

Sovereignty is your full right and power over yourself, without any interference from outside sources or bodies.

Your name, repeated over and over by you and others, always referring to you and only you, wears on you and your sense of identity. You are the sum of your accomplishments. Commonly, you are a sensitive creature with emotions directing you to a feeling of peace and contentment. I suggest you maintain your sovereignty.

As always I welcome your comments.

Today’s Wardrobe Tip: When you mistakenly put a white garment in the wash with new clothes that bleed color onto your whites, don’t despair. Use a product called OUT White Brite. It removes rust, yellowing, red clay and color bleeds. It’s important to completely follow the directions. It works like magic.

Today’s blog is taken in-part from:

Stephanie Reid, https://seattlebridemag.com/expert-wedding-advice/history-behind-maiden-vs-married-names


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Not Shut-In

Shift your focus, . . . your body has unlimited potential, think about it.

Soon I will release, on YouTube, information that will soothe our passive and not-so-passive fear/frustration over COVID-19 and life in general.

Who am I to suggest alternatives? I am an artist who has acted like a dressmaker for 35 years and now helps people to use their imagination to solve day-to-day problems. I have been described as having incredible persistence and stamina for creating my own life.


I want to know about you.

I can imagine how different life is during these 15, maybe 10 days of isolation. That’s our part of helping to get the Coronavirus under control. But, it seems like it may continue to be around, changing our lives with it.

I say, terrific!

Let’s dream; as Gregory Porter says in his song, Painted On Canvas.

We are like children, we're painted on canvas

Can I use the colors I choose

Do I have a say what colors you use?

Can I get some green and some blue?

What do you use?

You have powers you just barely use to full advantage. Personal powers to create reality for yourself. Dream, change and refine the dream and then, focus your thoughts over time. Depending on your ability to focus your thoughts, you will see reality change to match your dream. You have absolute control over your own thoughts.

We are like children, we're painted on canvas

Admire the view

Thank you, Gregory Porter

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After The Shock

Soon we will adjust to the shock of being sequestered on a grand scale. Notice your nerves start to calm. This is a good time to use your imagination and creativity for peace-of-mind. You do not have to give up! You can make something out of this that will be helpful to you. You can establish a whole new way of relating to one another.

Focus on your relationships, even though the physical element is not allowed. Talk a lot online, by phone and text so when the restrictions are lifted, our sense-of-self and the quality of our relationships have risen to a higher level. Right now, when you can safely meet, do it outdoors and do not touch. Laugh, smile, talk and dance in your home even if you are by yourself. Get yourself out-of-doors and relate to the element that resonates with you. The simple elements are air, wood, water, fire, metal. Breathe deep and fully.

Talk about the coronavirus with friends and family until it’s talked through. Don’t argue with the restrictions, they are designed to reduce the spread of the virus. Use common sense and good hygiene. Be there for one another. In this case it’s most important to honor the other person’s principles and maintain your own principles. In other words, stick to your agency and honor the agency of your family and friends.

In a few months the Coronavirus will be more understandable. Even though it’s a time-laden process, it is temporary in the larger scheme of things. This is unique time, where we need to communicate our desires, wants and needs clearly in everyday moments. Be one of those people who makes such a good impact on people’s lives, they are calmed and centered by you and can barely remember life before this time.

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Yielding the Sword

It cuts right through everything possible. The wide and wonderful field of what has yet to happen just moments ahead, gets stopped in mid-air. It feels like a brick wall. It’s not fair or equitable. it’s the phase, “That will never happen.”

Dearest, let me enlighten this scenario. Nothing is never. Saying that something will never happen is irrelevant. As sure as the grass grows, change is constantly present.

Don’t ask why people say, “It will never happen.” Asking why, messes with your true nature. “It will never happen,” comes from a scarcity mindset . (scar-city).

It is better to ask What? What can you do, what is going on here, what is possible.

Never has a co-conspirator by the name of Always. You may hear, “It’s always that way; or, “They are always going to do that.” Same scenario. Nothing is Always, just as nothing is Never. When you enter the field of possibilities, what is possible is just around the corner. Your idea gains momentum with focus and attention. In other words, when you focus on a thought and pay attention to your surroundings you give your idea momentum (energy and increasing power) to be.

Remember: UCREATEveryday. When you see your idea become reality, see it flashing across your awareness, . . . say yes! Invite it into your life. This is an important step.

After all , when you heard, “That will never happen,” and “They always make it impossible to __________________.” fill-in the blank. You became temporarily hard-of- hearing and went about your everyday creative day.

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Dinner and the Power of Choice

Gourmet is created to appeal to all of our senses. It affects us in many ways.

Right or wrong, it has something to teach us.

We also feel our history, our personal history, often and in many ways.

Growing up had two chapters. The first chapter was abundant. Dad was a successful lawyer in his own practice. We had a five bedroom, three story brick house on two lots in Allen Park, MI. We had everything, very often new clothes, lots of food, dinners out, and many vacations. Year by year, time went on . . . then, life changed.

I was awake at night to hear Dad’s abuse of Mom. His deep booming voice minimizing her natural goddessness. And then a thump and a quiet sobbing. Shocked and deeply sad, I had a decision to make. As a 12yr old child, did I allow this intel to minimize me, after all, this was my mother and father!  Or did I wait, use time to see how it turned out, keeping my thoughts to myself.   I chose the latter, like most 12yr olds in the 1960s.

Mom and Dad were divorced in less than a year. We moved from that house, plenty big for eight, into a house too small for the six of us. Now we had one pair of sneakers, one pair of boots, minimally just what we needed. Consequently we had to keep our clothes clean and ready to wear again, day after day.

The most profound change was with dinner. Pre-divorce we were required to be on-time, face and hands washed and seated at 6pm. We heard a passage from the Bible and learned a new word weekly from the dictionary. Dad would quiz us through the week to correctly pronounce, spell and recite the weekly word. We had to share what happened to us and how we felt about it. And we had to be excused before we left the table.

Post-divorce dinners only happened when someone complained they were starting to get hungry. Hand washing was only when my sister and I thought our younger brothers’ hands were “too gross.” What was served was often over- cooked from a slow-cooker Mom started before she went to work. Or it was something I could devise from little bits of left-overs and flavors hidden deep in the fridge and cupboards. Again, I chose to experience this as early training for my future career as a fine dining chef or as “the gourmet chef” in our big Italian family. What happened that day and our feelings about it were now left unsaid at dinner, to built up stress. Instead, we would talked it out in private one-on-one. Sometimes the tension got very heated, depths-of-our-soul types of emotions.

Pre-divorce and post-divorce both had positive and negative aspects and life lessons. Far beyond simply being fed, communal dinners nourish in a total feeling way. It does this in many forms, often indescribable. As long as people have face-to-face contact, and especially if they’re tightly linked by an emotional bond.

It’s a tradition worthy of preserving, resurrecting, or creating new, now.

Start from where you are.

From my heart, let me express to you how much choice you have every way, everyday. As a kid, and still today, I use my imagination to keep growing, keep flowing along. Very little needs to be ingested, it’s up to you. 

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